Senitmental Fragility

This made me wonder. To give you an idea:

 Are your `Hindu' sentiments hurt by Aamir Khan's take on godmen and gods in the new Bollywood movie PK? Or by Ram Gopal Varma's queries regarding Lord Ganesha? Don't worry, the Hindu Legal Cell will address your concerns. Launched six months ago by more than 100 lawyers across India, this organisation will tackle any perceived insults against the faith, besides fighting for “Hindu human rights“.

Initially, I was in denial. Then I tried to make sense of it. I seem to have failed. 

The article in the Economic Times goes on to state the following:

“Our religion is under threat, and in India, in the name of secularism, everyone wants to protect other religions, except Hinduism,“ said Prashant Patel, a 27-year-old graduate in management and law from Delhi who's the organisation's secretary. “In India, there are some people who talk against Indian culture and get away in the name of free speech,“ he said. “But free speech should be used to talk good things and not hurt others' sentiments,“ Patel said.

Note how there is a mention of free speech. How poignantly put!

After successfully tackling trivial economic issues like poverty, corruption, illiteracy, women's safety, hunger, housing, infrastructure, water, other environmental issues, et cetera we finally seem to have taken a turn for the better. Focus on greater development and make India an economic power. Focus on protection and development of religion and take legal action against people talking smack about Indian culture, Hinduism,  and the so-called force fed faith in Gods and Godmen.

Shame on Indians. Talking about the Indian culture in myriad ways and destroying its sanctity. You have a differing opinion? How dare you? Did you not know that there is no room for independent thought?

Shame on Indians. Making movies like PK & OMG. Is it so difficult to produce item numbers and mindless Bollywood masala movies? That is what Indian culture is all about.

Shame on Indians. Watching, liking and enjoying movies like PK & OMG. What audacity! Who said your choice even mattered? It is an Indian family's birthright where everyone from grandparents to infants enjoy Munni & Sheela.

Shame on Indians. Voicing their opinions against Gods and their men. Follow them. Blindly. Now.

Shame on Indians. Using their fundamental rights in such blatantly normal ways. You live in a democracy. You have free speech. It doesn't mean you can stand against what is considered 'acceptable behaviour'.

No, no. We need to put an end to this. We need to stop this apocalypse before it takes over the country. We need to stop people from having a rational and logical thought process. They need to adhere to norms. How hard is it, really? We have been doing it for generations. We can do it for generations more!

Ram Puniyani, a leading political commentator and member of the All India Secular Forum, finds the emergence of organisations such as the Hindu Legal Cell a worrying trend amid the coming to power of the BJP-led Narendra Modi government. “This lawyers' organisation is a step in the same direction--to harass those opposing blind faith. Those promoting rational thought will be targeted and this will subtly promote Hindu religiosity.“

Rational thought? Hahaha. Even our education system doesn't have any room for this. Why should religion?

The next step for the organisation will be to expand its base in other parts of India and encourage people to file cases against any issue that impacts them.

Industrial development? Development of the service sector? B*tch, please!

On a serious note, instead of focussing on Modi's Japan model for development of the nation, we seem to be on the path to recreating a certain East Asian country's ruthless dictatorship.

I am interested in what you have to say. Leave a comment below or e-mail me.

You may find the article here: http://epaperbeta.timesofindia.com/Article.aspx?eid=31818&articlexml=After-Ghar-Wapsi-a-Ghar-to-Protect-Hindu-29122014001078

The Mills & Boons Reverie

I read my first Mills & Boons when I was sitting jobless at a client's place (audit is by far the most boring field of work) and I asked a friend to forward me an e-book. Till date I've read about 10-15 Mills & Boons books (yes, I know, I know), here's what all of them are about:

1.    Tall, dark and handsome men: Yes, the ones that don't exist. Okay, fine. They do exist. But, they’re already taken. They do not exist for us mere mortals. And here in India, we mostly find short, stout, dark and not handsome men who leer at us. Mostly. Oh, well.

2.    Well built men vs. tiny and frail girl: I am neither tiny nor frail. I can kick some serious ass! And, well built? Bitch, please! Why do you think the terms "paunch" and "beer belly" exist? Fairy tale portrayal, WHY!?

3.    Very big man: I need to add a *nudge nudge wink wink* here. You know. The girl has never seen such a huge man. Then again, her fear is replaced by how turned on she is and at the end of the day, they fit perfectly well. You know. Yeah, okay.

4.   Stone wall, zero EQ: The male protagonist is always surrounded by a stone wall, emotionally. He has had some bad experience or the other as a child that has left him emotionally stunted. He has built a strong wall around his emotions and feelings, never lets them show and yes, the female protagonist breaks the wall and he gets all mushy, emotional and gets in touch with his feelings. The man will always, always be beautiful, rough and broken. We aren't talking about broken shards of Venetian glass. No. The woman will fix him (it seems to be her single motive). Wouldn’t going to a shrink be easier? Think about it.

5.   Growl, growl, ROAR: Whenever the guy is turned on, he growls. I am not joking! I have noticed this in every sex scene that was elucidated. Sorry, how tactless of me. Love making scenes. The woman sucks in her breath, he growls. The woman moans, he growls. The woman smiles, he growls. The woman hugs him, he growls. A trip to the zoo would be easier!

6.    Damsel-in-distress and knight-in-shining-armour syndrome: Yes. She is always in need of help. Yes, he is always there to save her. They fall in love and have a happily ever after. Don't we all? It must be so difficult to come up with a plot line showing exactly that. No more, no less.
Oh, a few more pointers for the perfectly concocted M&B- the damsel is usually in financial distress. The only solution? Marriage; A loveless marriage. Duh! Guy demands sex. Girl refuses. Girl falls for his undeniably sexy charms. *Gasp* Guy has amazing control over his sexual appetite and restraint (because, obviously, the girl said no and he should honour her wishes, duh). They end up having sex anyway because they are beautiful, hot, sexy people and what do two beautiful, hot and sexy people do? Yep.

7.   Wealthy magnate: The male protagonist is never a-struggling-anything. He used to be. Not anymore. He only struggles with his non-existent EQ. He is always a wealthy magnate, has more money than well, a lot of money, has real estate all over the world, has an amazing business, is always in the middle of some business negotiation or the other, is always ruthless in those negotiations (the girl injects some emotions here to balance out the ruthlessness; and because she has to do something other than sit pretty all the time) and is just the perfectly tactless multi-millionaire.

8.   Marriage and kids: So, the guy is emotionally stunted. The girl fixes him. He wants to marry her. He wants her to have several of his children. Several. Girl is shocked to her wits that he is willing to commit. And kids? Several of them? $%%&%&, sure! It is not like the girl gets annoyed with the "several" part because she has to pop them out. They get married. Girl with a shy smile tells him “I’m glad you are talking about babies; I am pregnant!”
Because every girl's reaction, once she knows she's pregnant is unbelievable happiness coursing through her veins. And of course the guy is super duper happy that his girl's knocked up because his legacy will remain. I mean, come on, did you honestly expect anything less? People don't just freak out and try to run away from reality, especially when it is pregnancy. That has mediocrity written all over it!

Mills & Boons 101.
You are most welcome! 

The Arranged Marriage Saga: The Checklist

My friend who is on a groom hunt showed me her very short checklist:

1. Good looking
2. Rich
3. Good personality (optional; she intends to customize him)

My checklist want-list:

Dear future boyfriend/lover/husband/partner,

1. I don't care about your level of qualification
   I just want you to be an asset to society
2. I don't care about the kind of money you make
   I just want you to take good care of your family (parents & siblings)
3. I don't care if you are fat or skinny
   I just don't want you to eat/ starve yourself to an early grave
4. I don't care if you drink
   I just don't want you to drink yourself to an early death
5. I don't care if you smoke
   I just don't want you to be anywhere near me with your smoker's breath
   Also, don't die early because of your smoking habit
6. I don't care that you have a past
   I just want you to acknowledge it and be honest about it
7. I don't care that you have an accent
   I just need you to have good English vocabulary and grammar 
8. I don't care if you have a porn collection or look at other women
   If you stare at them and make them uncomfortable,
   be rest assured, I will make your life hell
   There are enough creeps out there making our skin crawl
   We don't need another one
   Needless to add, you'll be left then and there
9. I don't care if you are a feminist or any '-ist' at all
   You will treat me as an equal
   I will also be contributing financially to the household
   And you will be okay with it
10. I don't care if it makes you feel less manly
    You will be doing chores around the house 
11. Most importantly

• I don't care what you think
  But I'll always love my dad more than I love you
  He is the only man I have fallen for with no conditions attached
• I don't care what you think
  But to me, my mom was, is and will always be the greatest woman to have inhabited Planet Earth
• I don't care what you think
  But my sibling is my first and only baby, always has been, always will be

How many prospective grooms do we have left for me? None, you say?

The Arranged Marriage Saga: Overhear-ment

You realize that you are having an out of body experience when overhear your mom speaking to a relative about your horoscope. And then, you hear only snippets of what mom is saying over the phone, which sound vaguely like this:

1. A lot of agreement interjected with "aha!", "oho!", "accha!", "okay!", "yes, yes!", "aamaam" (Tamil for 'yes')

2. She is 23 now.

3. When? 2015 aa? If not 2015 then when? 3years later? That's too late!

4. Yes, she wants to study further, so we are thinking of someone in the US.

5. Yes, we are coming down south in x month, this year.

6. Why don't you ask ABC Mama to do some introductions? I don't want her to get annoyed, though. Just tell him to do everything subtly.

The moment you hear all that, you feel like doing an epic facepalm and want to move away from everything.

The fact that you are 23 is of great consequence to everyone but you. While your parents are more interested in negotiating a life partner for you, here you are, giving your exams and awaiting the next party with your friends. And the fact that you still laugh at fart jokes puts on display the mental and emotional maturity of a five year old. Maybe even that five year old is more mature? Possibly. 

Anyway, it takes a lot of time for the fact to sink in. It has been 48 hours since the trauma and it still hasn't hit home.

Now, I wonder what is going to happen on our trip down south. Stay tuned!

*I think the tags on this post will sum up my emotions right now*

The Arranged Marriage Saga: Titbits

We have this "awesome" concept of arranged marriage in India. People don't just ask you whether you are married. They go a step further and ask whether it was a love marriage or was it arranged. The only difference being you select the partner who will screw your life over in the former case and in the latter case, your parents do it for you. Thank them well.

In a regular middle class Indian family, when the girl reaches "marriageable" age, say, 22-23, the questions automatically take a different turn. Earlier, until say 20-21 years of age, the statements/ questions were something like this:

1. What do you study?

2. What is your area of interest?

3. What do you want to do in the future?

4. Be happy, healthy, study well, get a good job and then we'll take care of everything (when you touch the oldies' feet for their alleged blessings)

As you turn 23, these are the statements/ questions you get:

1. How old are you?

2. How much have you studied?

3. Jathakam edutacha? (Is your jathakam out?)

4. Are your parents looking for you? (Mind you, this ain't a game of Hide n Seek. People ask whether groom hunting by your parents is going on?)

5. What's your salary? (God forbid you have a job)

6. You are so tiny, how will you have children?

See the difference? When you are a "kid", the statements and questions are basically education and career related and peppered with "We'll take care of everything after your education and job." Once you turn 23, career takes a backseat, marriage is all it is about!

Somehow, the oldies managed to find their partner and think it is their birthright to find me one! Also, apparently, my uterus is under their dictatorship.

Anyhoo, The Arranged Marriage Saga will take you through my what-should-be-forbidden journey of arranged marriage (if it does happen). I try to find humour in anything and everything. Hopefully this doesn't get overbearing and tiring.

Walking the Streets Just Got Safer

Check this out

Screenshot of www.dailymail.co.uk

Original article here.